I just found out that my coworker in fact is bringing in 40times my yearly bonus for barely six months of work and not much work at all. He is in fact a very big ticket item. All my crush feeling and the tad bit of jealousy has turned to despair. I am losing all motivation to work. Why haven't all these years of work experience turned into something more worthwhile? But maybe that is why all the avoidance. While I stayed away out of my jealousy of his love, he could have stayed away because he would be suspicious of those around him jealous of his pay and what he does. I guess if I didn't have just love for him, I would have hated him for his pay alone. It's just such an easy job with no pressure. Such easy big money.
I suppose he is a few years older than me and has a bit more experience. How can I pack it all in in the next few years? I am definitely going to leave my current job this year and pursue a more international experience. Quite a few years to pay the price for a spot in the big boy's table, but hopefully this will be the year.
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