I had a very engaging lunch with a senior partner of a major firm yesterday. I met her years ago through alumni activities when I first arrived in Hong Kong and she's about twenty years older with a few beautiful kids. An white American woman, she married a Chinese guy she met on a vacation in China.
To sum up some really great and wise advice:
- Pray - all her answers were answered, it is just timing that is different. Timing is not something one could control. This worked with her marriage and her kids.
- Take a few classes, accounting or cooking, what not.
- Love happens. Her husband is the love of her life. She thinks most couples around her are in love. This goes against the more cynical view from my other friends who are or were married that only 10% of the married couples are actually happy. Single women just rush into marriage because they think it would make them happier, but lots just become glorified housekeepers.
- People with similar background don't always work. She had opportunity to date a CEO guy with exactly same background, schooling, etc., but she knew he's not the one. Rather, it was love at first sight with her husband.
- Relationships need work. Though her husband and her both have people around them with similar backgrounds, they both don't pursue those relationships. Love needs protection.
- Kids are amazing. In difficult times when relationship is rocky, kids bring couples together.
Along with a nice sunny day, it made me feel good. I also bumped into an older Scottish guy I admired in my old firm on my way back. He was happy to see me after two years and so was I. He gave me advice before like four years prior that I need to attend every party and every wedding to increase my chances. He himself met his wife at a mutual friend's party.
I guess you can meet people everywhere. Sit back and allow things to happen at their own pace. Such is life.
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