Yesterday I met with another Chinese American in equity research, whom I asked for an introduction from a college friend of mine. In the same age bracket and in the same profession, I thought this would make our connection stronger, for either professional or personal reason in the future. As I have a knack for journalism since an early age, I thought his background as a journalist in China would actually be an attraction.
Meeting him though turned out to be a rather uninspiring event. A recent graduate of a US MBA school, he was quite defensive about everything. You see, I've been trying to be less defensive and bite my tongue this year, so I am at least glad to say that my first practice with a defensive guy has been rather effective. He introduced everything about himself with an air of arrogance, such as the fact that his parents moved to the US for graduate school (Yes, not one of those new immigrants, maybe that makes him a real true American prince). He questioned me in a less friendly way as well, such as why I am not marketing right now, why I would be working for the place that I do etc. The conversation just did not flow. He's so inexperienced in his field, with just perhaps three months as an associate. Normally people at that level would be speaking to me nicely, as their future is so uncertain and the road ahead long in their professional career. He became more quiet when I told him that I have an associate working for me. I think I need to be more patient and be a bigger person when I can.
The lunch turned out to be close to 600 HKD, much more than I felt comfortable paying for, especially with someone that I find less than engaging. Afterwards, I had an upset stomach for the rest of the day. The greasy food got to me. I have also been taking a diet pill I got back in Manila ages ago, and it must have had a bad reaction with it. I went to the gym later on and felt like fainting. I took a taxi home and slept for the rest of the night.
This made me wonder - does US really churn out a lot of people who are rather insecure but want to cloak themselves in whatever degree they got - Yes, I have an MBA from so and so.. and I should talk down to you in a officious way? I too have a top MBA, but I never thought about using it as a shield for who I truly am. Maybe there is just an insecurity issue with guys. He got started late with his career and he wanted to compete with me and win the first time we meet? All I wanted was a friendly exchange, and perhaps he naturally saw it as a duel? Perhaps I can't blame him. He is probably still in the mode of competition, where he has to beat out all the other MBA students for the few coveted jobs in finance. Survival comes first, then kindness for others and the world.
In the afternoon, a sales trader in the company asked me for coffee, to chat. He's a young and good looking guy. He was quite kind and humble, quite a nice change from the lunch time conversations I had. He is bored with his job and wanted to learn more about fundamental analysis, perhaps go into research in the future. I suggested MBA and he said he has also been looking into it. Will that future MBA churn out another arrogant and insecure soul when he comes out?
Granted there has been many interesting people I met during MBA and the network gave me the perspective from many others in the world I was not exposed to before, there definitely is more than a handful who have been transformed for the more arrogant, a changed identity that required more a more defensive nature. To make it in the world is a hard thing. I hope I will be one of the lucky ones that wouldn't have to resort to that to prove my worth in the world.
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