Cherish life

It has already been more than six weeks into my coughing/bronchitis session and I am growing tired of it.  I want my energy and life back, where I can think clearly and exercise and go out and enjoy the city.  Instead I still move between work and my apartment half-zombi-like and pestered by incessant coughing.  My chest X-ray taken at the doctor's visit last week came back positive, but that did not prevent me from catching the 2nd wave of cold.  I really need to get better.  I did quit smoking entirely, a leisurely habit I had taken on since two years ago to experiment with different facets of life.

But all of this is no comparison to the chat I had with an old business school friend of mine, who informed me that his fiancee had surprisingly been diagnosed with reproductive cancer and their September wedding is now cancelled.  This is especially shocking given the proximity I have to the event.  The girl is around my age and my friends in banking have been feeding me stories of people around them being diagnosed with all sorts of illness lately.  We all think we are young and have time to burn before we get to doing what really matters to us.  Somehow we all think life will sort itself out and we would get enough time to do what we are meant to do in our short time on earth.  Yet the time is now, but it is slipping away.

"Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains."  So says Rousseau.  As we grow older, we are more aware of the limitation set around us by the unseen forces, power you are not as aware of as a young and innocent child.  I think back to the movie "Taxi driver."  You get a job, and then in a little while you become what the job is.  What more do we want? Just passing through life?  Enjoy the superficial comfort money brings and obey our expected duty to raise the next generation?  This all beyond me.

The tangible thing to do: I have signed up for a physical exam in August to care for myself.  I've never done so before.

Another one of my close friends has left Hong Kong this week.  I am again alone.  I plan to be in Shanghai the next two weeks for a change.  Hopefully I can learn something new in a new place and find opportunities along the way.  Hopefully I'll be again my whole self with my energy back there.