So good to be home.

It has been a while.  Almost a year since I decided to take on the project of keeping a journal to meet Mr. Right.  Nothing has happened since then but I did make a big step in renting out an apartment in Shanghai.  I feel good here.  After going back to Hong Kong last week, my mood had once again been dragged down.  I felt like I stayed in a prison cell with cell mates that could care less that I lived or died.
I also saw my crush walking on the street with his wife.  I don't really know the state of their relationship being separated for so many years.  Despite my outer nonchalance toward the matter and telling myself and friends that I have indeed moved on, I felt like crying when I saw them together.  I felt shaken.  I don't believe that he is a kind person.  But every person has a purpose in one's life.  He made me want to explore China more, he made me curious about a part of life and the world I ignored in the past.  His presence woke something in me.

I think I should make Shanghai a spot in my life at least, an important one.  I analyzed that there are quite a few reasons why this place should be the right choice right now:

1. Language and culture - no where I've been did I feel like I could access the entire population, local and foreign.  I speak the local language here and cannot be excluded from any group, white, black or Cantonese.

2.  Family - Family and friends have become increasingly important.  I am not sure how many years I can be with my core family and it is precious that I go home as much as possible.

3.  Women power - Women seem to have more of an equal power in Shanghai.  They are more outspoken and the men generally accept it and I was told they like it.

4. Business prospects. Though Hong Kong is more established as a financial center, all the actual businesses are in China.  Knowing China adds more credibility in a world where without it you would find work challenging. Also, it gives me the room and connection to think about other businesses and other parts of life.

5.  I am done with everywhere else.  After getting all my paper showing that not all of these years are for naught, I am now done with all the visible benefits of staying in Hong Kong that most people follow.  I have gone through all the people, through school and work and what not, it would only be fair for me to try something new in a new and developing land.