I've just been wasting too much time. I try not to but my mind just wanders. I work on one little errand followed by another task, never working efficiently on the main thing. The simple goal of doing well in a demanding job has morphed into thoughts about how to make my first million and second, how to find Mr. Right, how to buy the clothes that can reflect my beauty and therefore accomplish the first two goals, how to live a fulfilling life, researching how others have done it, and constantly asking myself if I am doing the right thing.
I don't have much to complain about but I do feel less productive and accomplished when I don't write for a week for work. There is a bit of fear every time that I would get something wrong or I would not get the full picture to write authoritatively on something. Concentrate, concentrate concentrate. The E.gg timer thing recommended in the "Four Hour Worksheek" supposedly helps.
I did not do any of the church things that I planned to do because of work. Met no one new other than my old business school friend who very recently broke up with his fiancee because she got early stage cancer and his parents objected. I considered him a possibility since he had most of the background traits similar to me. Except in the MBTI test, he comes out the exact opposite. The reason I considered him more is because he was able to date someone three years older than him, and because of his recent loss, he lost a lot of weight and became more sensitive. Conversations flow between us. Of course, it is too early to come in in his time of distress. It wouldn't be fair to the woman too, who I met before and liked.
My office crush has been away in New York with "his family." Of course the curious and stubborn me wonder what it could be. Is he there to get a divorce, help his wife move to Hong Kong, help his wife through hard times (like family illness), or simply on summer vacation with an excuse? I guess none of that really should be my business. Focus focus focus.
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