A Shanghainese friend visited Hong Kong and I decided to reconnect. I went to Chinese University with her while she visited another one of her friend. I find the countryside calming. We biked around Sha Tin and went as far as Tai Po before it began to rain and we returned. I continued my cough that I thought I recovered from last week. I should be better to myself. Turning a leaf in life definitely reprioritized my goals. While I still want to pursue a career that I enjoy, I hope to do it along side with all my personal development goals. I want to pick up a hobby that most people in this part of the world do not have the time or the awareness to do. I want to try new things, golf, club med, pamper myself. I want to be good to myself, while there is no one else around to be nice to me.
I think I live in the busiest and loudest part of the town of the busiest city in the world. This provides endless stimulation to my senses that it often drowns out my own voice. It is easier to drift with the flow, work within the same system. I want to find a peaceful spot, solace within the storm that I can retire to regularly. Too bad to do one would need to add the necessarily cost of transportation and going to the airport. Ok, I really need to stop whining and get busy living. Recover first.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
I'm ready for the plunge
A week back in Hong Kong and I am already feeling like leaving again. I feel like the convenience of the city has served as a disguise for a full social life. One can easily get lost in the shallow relationships - so easy to make friends and so easy to meet, yet no one could give minimally to friendships and relationships and feel like one has so many. My friends seem to connect with each other much more. My friend from Shanghai again reminded me that life in Shanghai is much more settled. I know my experience would be different, having not lived there for a long time. But I know the settled feeling both there and in the States.
I feel stimulated and distracted in Hong Kong, but little belongs to me. People come and go and I don't belong to the city ultimately. I had my fun and my experience but it is now time for something else. In any case, it'd be very difficult to have a family here. I know I miss many aspects of the city, its international flavor, its convenience. Yet to everything there is a flip side, the international flavor comes as a weird mix of different people who come together and then leave, and the convenience comes at the price of the lack of commitment and people coming here just to make a buck and leave. I can hardly think about investing in a bigger place but how could one actually live in a small apartment like this as a family? Also identity wise, I don't really belong. In the US, I feel American and can talk to lots of people and in China, I can also talk to a lot of people. In Hong Kong, I can only talk on the superficial level to the expats passing by and at surface level to the locals. It's been a long time. It is time to try something else. In any case, I am not meeting that many new people. Any place becomes stale after a while. It needs a jump start.
All I need is to clean up my apartment little by little and put it on airbnb. I need to sell some old clothes and clean it up a bit more. Let's see how my tropical fish will do with the automatic fish feeder. If it becomes a problem, I shall give them away. They've lived well for over two years and managed to not lose a single one from their company. I think that's an achievement in itself and a pretty good run for the short lives of tropical fish.
I am ready to take the plunge.
I feel stimulated and distracted in Hong Kong, but little belongs to me. People come and go and I don't belong to the city ultimately. I had my fun and my experience but it is now time for something else. In any case, it'd be very difficult to have a family here. I know I miss many aspects of the city, its international flavor, its convenience. Yet to everything there is a flip side, the international flavor comes as a weird mix of different people who come together and then leave, and the convenience comes at the price of the lack of commitment and people coming here just to make a buck and leave. I can hardly think about investing in a bigger place but how could one actually live in a small apartment like this as a family? Also identity wise, I don't really belong. In the US, I feel American and can talk to lots of people and in China, I can also talk to a lot of people. In Hong Kong, I can only talk on the superficial level to the expats passing by and at surface level to the locals. It's been a long time. It is time to try something else. In any case, I am not meeting that many new people. Any place becomes stale after a while. It needs a jump start.
All I need is to clean up my apartment little by little and put it on airbnb. I need to sell some old clothes and clean it up a bit more. Let's see how my tropical fish will do with the automatic fish feeder. If it becomes a problem, I shall give them away. They've lived well for over two years and managed to not lose a single one from their company. I think that's an achievement in itself and a pretty good run for the short lives of tropical fish.
I am ready to take the plunge.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
A place for guys who can't cut it
Hong Kong as a financial center attracts the ambitious alpha males for sure, but somehow it is also a refuge for those around the world who come to take advantage of the lack of education of the masses of people in Asia. I seem to often wonder what people are doing here sometimes. If one really wants to find one's self, they'd go to more harsh places like Africa or keep on moving, yet they stay - with no clear purpose or long-term plan. The only thing I can tell is that they are enjoying the number of women here and readily give out the attention they like. This has become more obvious every time I come back to Hong Kong from traveling elsewhere. Maybe it is the lack of real jobs for those who are not in finance.. maybe I should just be more forgiving to people because one day I might just end up in their shoes. But one thing I feel more and more is that I don't have a lot of time to waste meeting and hanging out with people are just have little to contribute.
Monday, May 6, 2013
The next stage
Most of my friends have stepped on the treadmill to another stage of life, that of rearing kids, finding the best education for them, finding housing in the suburbs of America. Getting the best job and conquering the best career path has already become a passed chapter of our lives. Instead, the center of our lives have moved onto those of our descendants.
I wonder where my stop will be. I am used to the convenience of Hong Kong and its international flavor but I am tired of the lack of romance in this city. The transient nature makes building a stable life more difficult. How can most of my friends still be from outside of Hong Kong after making this place my home for eight years?
I hung out a lot with my entrepreneur business school friend this past week, who made quite a few bit of money selling his business recently. He is recently single and highly mobile. But not sure if there is a chance. I had dinner with him and his mother and went to a dance that he invited me to. All before we met at the airport before he headed off to a conference in Mexico City. I've known him a long time and know his entire family. I have no flirtatious power to take it further and not even sure if I should go with it but who knows.. he is a decent guy and has everything on paper, tall good looking, wealthy, and not the kind of arrogant rude guy sitting next to me.
I wonder where my stop will be. I am used to the convenience of Hong Kong and its international flavor but I am tired of the lack of romance in this city. The transient nature makes building a stable life more difficult. How can most of my friends still be from outside of Hong Kong after making this place my home for eight years?
I hung out a lot with my entrepreneur business school friend this past week, who made quite a few bit of money selling his business recently. He is recently single and highly mobile. But not sure if there is a chance. I had dinner with him and his mother and went to a dance that he invited me to. All before we met at the airport before he headed off to a conference in Mexico City. I've known him a long time and know his entire family. I have no flirtatious power to take it further and not even sure if I should go with it but who knows.. he is a decent guy and has everything on paper, tall good looking, wealthy, and not the kind of arrogant rude guy sitting next to me.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Beautiful Bay
A few days of gorgeous weather here in the San Francisco Bay, I feel mostly peaceful and relaxed. I feel fortunate to have a place that I can go to as a sanctuary for the mind. The familiarity and the memory, when shone under the beautiful sunlight makes one want to cringe with love. I am traveling with a friend new to the area but not to California and it is nice to be able to show someone around for the first time the beauty of the region.
That said, I can see how things can again be too peaceful so that it becomes boring if I were to stay. I thought about all the amazing places that I have been in the world and that I equally appreciate, the countryside of France and the Italian border with Switzerland... their more exotic nature make them equally attractive. And it would be a lot to also give up my study of human nature back in China. With so many people brushing shoulders with each other and access to all levels of the society on the move, I feel it gives one the ideal classroom to understand ourselves, what motivates us, how society and history impact our lives. All of that, I cannot get in a peaceful and beautiful place like here.
It after all, is a great place to return to, heal one's wounds and then go back to the battleground to understand and conquer a piece of the world.
That said, I can see how things can again be too peaceful so that it becomes boring if I were to stay. I thought about all the amazing places that I have been in the world and that I equally appreciate, the countryside of France and the Italian border with Switzerland... their more exotic nature make them equally attractive. And it would be a lot to also give up my study of human nature back in China. With so many people brushing shoulders with each other and access to all levels of the society on the move, I feel it gives one the ideal classroom to understand ourselves, what motivates us, how society and history impact our lives. All of that, I cannot get in a peaceful and beautiful place like here.
It after all, is a great place to return to, heal one's wounds and then go back to the battleground to understand and conquer a piece of the world.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Missing Bay Area
I will be on that plane to San Francisco this Saturday, two weeks after I have returned from Shanghai. Two weeks here has already been a bit too long I think. I miss the San Francisco Bay Area. Of course, I am sure being on the ground in a few days shall put me back in touch with an un-idealized picture, but still.
I get annoyed all the time at my ex-crush, the way he never ceases to talk about himself and dissses the world and filling his rants with Chinese expletives, the way he still flirts with the private equity girl, the way he just doesn't care about me. I have moved on but sitting next to the guy doesn't help.
I definitely will spend more time in Shanghai after I return from San Fran. I have already begun to clean up my apartment so that I can rent it out when I am gone in the future. I think it is doable. I bought a file cabinet with a lock so I can lock up my personal stuff. My automatic fish feeder seemed to have done the job last time. I am now buying the tube to automatically empty my dehumidifier box so that I won't come back to an apartment with mold growing. I think everything is under way. I also got into more of a home improvement mode. Whether it is changing my sink cabinet or kitchen cabinet and installing an oven, why don't I just make my humble abode more liveable? It should ultimately be better rental value or resell value. Pet project, besides maybe picking up golfing or tennis. Market is bad, but why not take the time to enjoy things while one can.
I daydream more often of settling back in the Bay Area, at least for a little while. Can I just quit and go? Without school as a break now, career just seems like an endless conveyor belt of days strung together that turn into years and decades. Is it possible to stop and think? I always wanted meaning in my life. Not to say that that I don't have it, but am I destined to live just an ordinary uneventful life? One filled with reports and overtime in the office. Is it possible to achieve more grandeur than that?
In light of making this blog a bit more fun, I'm trying to add a few pictures here and there to jazz it up.
I get annoyed all the time at my ex-crush, the way he never ceases to talk about himself and dissses the world and filling his rants with Chinese expletives, the way he still flirts with the private equity girl, the way he just doesn't care about me. I have moved on but sitting next to the guy doesn't help.
I definitely will spend more time in Shanghai after I return from San Fran. I have already begun to clean up my apartment so that I can rent it out when I am gone in the future. I think it is doable. I bought a file cabinet with a lock so I can lock up my personal stuff. My automatic fish feeder seemed to have done the job last time. I am now buying the tube to automatically empty my dehumidifier box so that I won't come back to an apartment with mold growing. I think everything is under way. I also got into more of a home improvement mode. Whether it is changing my sink cabinet or kitchen cabinet and installing an oven, why don't I just make my humble abode more liveable? It should ultimately be better rental value or resell value. Pet project, besides maybe picking up golfing or tennis. Market is bad, but why not take the time to enjoy things while one can.
I daydream more often of settling back in the Bay Area, at least for a little while. Can I just quit and go? Without school as a break now, career just seems like an endless conveyor belt of days strung together that turn into years and decades. Is it possible to stop and think? I always wanted meaning in my life. Not to say that that I don't have it, but am I destined to live just an ordinary uneventful life? One filled with reports and overtime in the office. Is it possible to achieve more grandeur than that?
In light of making this blog a bit more fun, I'm trying to add a few pictures here and there to jazz it up.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Extreme sports expats
I went to a British diver's talk at the Royal Geographic Society last night - a group of mostly commonwealth expats in Hong Kong. I bumped into a few ex-coworkers as expected, since it was a very commonwealth-ish place. There was a new HR head at my old workplace that I found useful to get to know. He said the market is bad and no one left the company after bonus as he expected people to do.
After the talk by the famed British diver who made about 8,000 dives around the world, I got together with four white expat guys, from Germany, Scotland, England and US, for beer. All of them have been in Hong Kong for approximately fifteen years and I find it great to talk to that group. They are a lot like my old colleagues - those that I could become long-term friends with. I found it easy to talk to them. Whether it is because I'm the only girl or that they felt compelled to be nice to an Asian, I don't know. But I find it pretty nice.
The Scot who invited me and sat next to me talked about all the extreme sports he does. He did bungy jumping and sky diving a few dozen times, in addition to diving every weekend. He's also involved in a band. It seems like a full-on life that puts my mundane desk job to shame. The German guy spent more than three years consulting for the Shanghai Stock Exchange in Shanghai before, and found it a great place to live and the people much similar to German than the Spanish that he used to work with back in Munich. I am happy to have found such a group. I will try to go to the event next week which deals with China and try to live a more interesting life.
My Chinese crush finally came to talk to me today and asked me about Shanghai, four days after I have returned. He came out of the blue and I was again quite startled and jumped from my seat upon his approach. He said that he's more scared than me when I get so scared every time he tries to talk to me. He said he just returned from an hedge fund conference there, they invited him to speak because he knows Chinese. But then corrected himself and said because he speaks English. He then complained about how quiet the office is, as if there is a curfew on, and there is no privacy for making client phone calls etc. The Hong Kong woman kept complaining about the status of her bull dogs on the phone and everyone knows about it in the office. He wanted to break the silence, he said. He wants to start watching porn in the office. I guess that was tongue in cheek.
I rounded off the evening by going to a Hong Kong speed-dating event, where I met about 30 people. Before going to the event, I was inspired by digging up the marriage details of daughter of the Taiwanese president Ma Yingjiou. She attended Harvard around my year and married a classmate currently working in Hong Kong. Interestingly enough, the guy also grew up in California, came to Hong Kong around the same time, left around the same time (I for business school and he for modeling gig, both in Europe), and actually lives in my neighborhood. Literally. But then the speeddating event turned out more of a disappointment, where most people were local Hong Kong crowd who can't think outside of their little island. Besides, there were few good looking guys. They were younger, lots of IT in a bank type. At least I tried there.
After the talk by the famed British diver who made about 8,000 dives around the world, I got together with four white expat guys, from Germany, Scotland, England and US, for beer. All of them have been in Hong Kong for approximately fifteen years and I find it great to talk to that group. They are a lot like my old colleagues - those that I could become long-term friends with. I found it easy to talk to them. Whether it is because I'm the only girl or that they felt compelled to be nice to an Asian, I don't know. But I find it pretty nice.
The Scot who invited me and sat next to me talked about all the extreme sports he does. He did bungy jumping and sky diving a few dozen times, in addition to diving every weekend. He's also involved in a band. It seems like a full-on life that puts my mundane desk job to shame. The German guy spent more than three years consulting for the Shanghai Stock Exchange in Shanghai before, and found it a great place to live and the people much similar to German than the Spanish that he used to work with back in Munich. I am happy to have found such a group. I will try to go to the event next week which deals with China and try to live a more interesting life.
My Chinese crush finally came to talk to me today and asked me about Shanghai, four days after I have returned. He came out of the blue and I was again quite startled and jumped from my seat upon his approach. He said that he's more scared than me when I get so scared every time he tries to talk to me. He said he just returned from an hedge fund conference there, they invited him to speak because he knows Chinese. But then corrected himself and said because he speaks English. He then complained about how quiet the office is, as if there is a curfew on, and there is no privacy for making client phone calls etc. The Hong Kong woman kept complaining about the status of her bull dogs on the phone and everyone knows about it in the office. He wanted to break the silence, he said. He wants to start watching porn in the office. I guess that was tongue in cheek.
I rounded off the evening by going to a Hong Kong speed-dating event, where I met about 30 people. Before going to the event, I was inspired by digging up the marriage details of daughter of the Taiwanese president Ma Yingjiou. She attended Harvard around my year and married a classmate currently working in Hong Kong. Interestingly enough, the guy also grew up in California, came to Hong Kong around the same time, left around the same time (I for business school and he for modeling gig, both in Europe), and actually lives in my neighborhood. Literally. But then the speeddating event turned out more of a disappointment, where most people were local Hong Kong crowd who can't think outside of their little island. Besides, there were few good looking guys. They were younger, lots of IT in a bank type. At least I tried there.
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