I think becoming older and realizing my place in the world makes me just a bit sad. As the weather is getting chillier, it dampens my spirit to a degree.
Off to Hong Kong this weekend. I wonder if I'd be meeting more people this time. Splitting time definitely puts me in a better psychological state to meet more people, being more curious and calm.
I saw that my old love posted a picture of him and his young girlfriend on facebook. They look happy. I wonder if I'd ever meet my partner.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Too many girls..
The latest social events I attend, a Bible study group last weekend and today's meetup event that centers around a TED topic. In my Bible study group, other than the American couple who was the organizer and the pastor, the rest were all young girls. There were two English guys at the group, but it was not long before they revealed that they came with their Chinese significant half in the group. Both had strange accents. Their Chinese halves were very Chinese.
Out of my busy schedule, I also dropped at the TED event meetup tonight. I only stayed for 10 minutes before leaving. A few young foreigner guys were surrounded by many local girls trying hard to be international. It wasn't that fun. I think i liked the Dine out event more where there were older and more mature people going.
Anyway, no pain no gain. I try to keep a good attitude to enjoy life as it is. My left side of the brain tells me that the statistics are against me. There simply aren't that many great guys that have good jobs. If they do, they'd already be followed by many feminine girls and at least half of them would want to validate their accomplishments by going for the model types. But anyway, those factors are beyond my control.
It will be good to see my parents finally tomorrow. Days are getting a bit colder now and I am feeling a bit down at moments. I started doing the half half six months ago, and so far I still haven't found my love.
Out of my busy schedule, I also dropped at the TED event meetup tonight. I only stayed for 10 minutes before leaving. A few young foreigner guys were surrounded by many local girls trying hard to be international. It wasn't that fun. I think i liked the Dine out event more where there were older and more mature people going.
Anyway, no pain no gain. I try to keep a good attitude to enjoy life as it is. My left side of the brain tells me that the statistics are against me. There simply aren't that many great guys that have good jobs. If they do, they'd already be followed by many feminine girls and at least half of them would want to validate their accomplishments by going for the model types. But anyway, those factors are beyond my control.
It will be good to see my parents finally tomorrow. Days are getting a bit colder now and I am feeling a bit down at moments. I started doing the half half six months ago, and so far I still haven't found my love.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
A golden age in Shanghai
Most of the people I talk to in Shanghai are hopeful. They range from the Syrian guy who bought my old bed. He just moved from Korea and working as a designer in commercial or advertising venture and said Shanghai is the place to be. Expats who stayed for a few years in the church I am attending also had good things to say about Shanghai.
Last night a Guangxi girl who sat next to me at a meetup event told me that after the financial crisis, all sorts of foreigners started moving to China and Shanghai started having a renewed international energy. In contrast, she has heard from others say that because Hong Kong opened up much earlier, it has already formed groups of people, expats, local Cantonese, and others like the mainlanders. I agree that Shanghai's social scene is a lot more mixed and interesting. "It is the golden age in Shanghai," she tells me. And indeed. One could easily miss it.
I think thinking about work condition in Hong Kong makes me more unhappy and stressful. Sitting in that cube everyday is a lot like going to a jail cell where people become separated and anti-social. And the coldness from my crush doesn't help either.
Weather here is getting a bit colder now though. That part of Hong Kong, in addition to the buzz I do miss. One more week and I shall return to Hong Kong. In the meantime, I have successfully rented out my Shanghai apartment to my first guest. Hope this city-hopping continue to work out for me. I am meeting a lot more people in Shanghai and find it reinvigorating.
Last night a Guangxi girl who sat next to me at a meetup event told me that after the financial crisis, all sorts of foreigners started moving to China and Shanghai started having a renewed international energy. In contrast, she has heard from others say that because Hong Kong opened up much earlier, it has already formed groups of people, expats, local Cantonese, and others like the mainlanders. I agree that Shanghai's social scene is a lot more mixed and interesting. "It is the golden age in Shanghai," she tells me. And indeed. One could easily miss it.
I think thinking about work condition in Hong Kong makes me more unhappy and stressful. Sitting in that cube everyday is a lot like going to a jail cell where people become separated and anti-social. And the coldness from my crush doesn't help either.
Weather here is getting a bit colder now though. That part of Hong Kong, in addition to the buzz I do miss. One more week and I shall return to Hong Kong. In the meantime, I have successfully rented out my Shanghai apartment to my first guest. Hope this city-hopping continue to work out for me. I am meeting a lot more people in Shanghai and find it reinvigorating.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
So good to be home.
It has been a while. Almost a year since I decided to take on the project of keeping a journal to meet Mr. Right. Nothing has happened since then but I did make a big step in renting out an apartment in Shanghai. I feel good here. After going back to Hong Kong last week, my mood had once again been dragged down. I felt like I stayed in a prison cell with cell mates that could care less that I lived or died.
I also saw my crush walking on the street with his wife. I don't really know the state of their relationship being separated for so many years. Despite my outer nonchalance toward the matter and telling myself and friends that I have indeed moved on, I felt like crying when I saw them together. I felt shaken. I don't believe that he is a kind person. But every person has a purpose in one's life. He made me want to explore China more, he made me curious about a part of life and the world I ignored in the past. His presence woke something in me.
I think I should make Shanghai a spot in my life at least, an important one. I analyzed that there are quite a few reasons why this place should be the right choice right now:
1. Language and culture - no where I've been did I feel like I could access the entire population, local and foreign. I speak the local language here and cannot be excluded from any group, white, black or Cantonese.
2. Family - Family and friends have become increasingly important. I am not sure how many years I can be with my core family and it is precious that I go home as much as possible.
3. Women power - Women seem to have more of an equal power in Shanghai. They are more outspoken and the men generally accept it and I was told they like it.
4. Business prospects. Though Hong Kong is more established as a financial center, all the actual businesses are in China. Knowing China adds more credibility in a world where without it you would find work challenging. Also, it gives me the room and connection to think about other businesses and other parts of life.
5. I am done with everywhere else. After getting all my paper showing that not all of these years are for naught, I am now done with all the visible benefits of staying in Hong Kong that most people follow. I have gone through all the people, through school and work and what not, it would only be fair for me to try something new in a new and developing land.
I also saw my crush walking on the street with his wife. I don't really know the state of their relationship being separated for so many years. Despite my outer nonchalance toward the matter and telling myself and friends that I have indeed moved on, I felt like crying when I saw them together. I felt shaken. I don't believe that he is a kind person. But every person has a purpose in one's life. He made me want to explore China more, he made me curious about a part of life and the world I ignored in the past. His presence woke something in me.
I think I should make Shanghai a spot in my life at least, an important one. I analyzed that there are quite a few reasons why this place should be the right choice right now:
1. Language and culture - no where I've been did I feel like I could access the entire population, local and foreign. I speak the local language here and cannot be excluded from any group, white, black or Cantonese.
2. Family - Family and friends have become increasingly important. I am not sure how many years I can be with my core family and it is precious that I go home as much as possible.
3. Women power - Women seem to have more of an equal power in Shanghai. They are more outspoken and the men generally accept it and I was told they like it.
4. Business prospects. Though Hong Kong is more established as a financial center, all the actual businesses are in China. Knowing China adds more credibility in a world where without it you would find work challenging. Also, it gives me the room and connection to think about other businesses and other parts of life.
5. I am done with everywhere else. After getting all my paper showing that not all of these years are for naught, I am now done with all the visible benefits of staying in Hong Kong that most people follow. I have gone through all the people, through school and work and what not, it would only be fair for me to try something new in a new and developing land.