I read about how money is the number one reason couples get divorced. As we grow older, we are ever more conscious about the importance of money, especially in a city like Hong Kong, where the money is the basis that greases the society's operation. If that is the case, one cannot ignore money in the equation when considering a union, dating, or getting married. No wonder how taboo it may seem, it does a play a part in the happiness of two people.
In evaluating money, I have noticed that so many people in Hong Kong seem to have sold their soul in order to survive in a money-greased machine. They value everything by money. They will come to you when you have it and leave when you no longer have it. So many I've met would ignore you if they judge you to be less worthy in their pursuit to obtain money. Quite a few seem to value nothing other than money in life - their existence nothing more than a part in the machine. Sometimes I see these people and I think that they are more like Gollum in Lord of the Rings. Perhaps in a different environment, they would have more conscience, but here, they have surrendered to the all-powerful force of money.
I think I just can't like Asians because most are born into that mentality. Many of the white people in Hong Kong are also subject to it, but it is at least not cultural. Ordinary mainlanders, perhaps because of their younger age, seem to be less subject to the contagion than their Hong Kong counterparts, who seemed to learn about the rat race from an early age.
I visited the Spanish meetup group for the first time today. It was quite good. I think my character is more like the Spanish type. I like their passion and their heart when they meet new people. A Hong Kong guy came and just hogged up the whole conversation, also tried to play himself up as someone working for a bank when he just did some IT work. Nothing against that, but one needs to be honest. So unromantic.
I had a connection with a Spanish guy I met. He taught English and Spanish in China and Hong Kong. The thing is I wonder about these people who are not in banking if money would come between us. I thought about a Peruvian guy I know from my college who was a PhD in the Bay Area. I liked him. He was fun and international. For a long time, he wanted to settle down but could not find a girl in the Bay Area. Now he already found someone, Chinese girl no less, from eHarmony. I could have been with that guy. He would have been a good companion. To meet someone entirely new from a different line of work, with much less economic potential is a barrier. But we shall see. On the other hand, I find that my Spanish is quite good. I didn't forget much of it and am quite fluent. A pat on my back for my language ability.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
HK$600 for more friends and contacts
I was reluctant to go to a school lunch event at the China Club yesterday where a famous professor came to speak because they asked for HK$600. I thought no lunch should be this expensive, even at the more posh China Club. Last minute though, I gave in and signed up. It turned out quite memorable. The psychology is now 80 years old and still full of energy. A luxurious career and wisdom made his talk ever more engaging - I seem to have gotten that feeling as if I was the curious 18 year old in college again, full of expectation and curiosity.
The event also helped me make a couple more friends. They are more established in their career and life - I guess those who are willing to pay HK$600 for lunch are self-selected to be from that group. I made a few friends who went to business school at different years and a few professional contacts. I asked them out for lunch.
In addition, the younger guy from the Shanghai university contacted me and we are scheduled for lunch next week. Then an okcupid guy reached out. He also happens to be Indian. I'm not really into that category, since I'd rather stick with what I know, Chinese or American/maybe European. But it's good to practice dating and practice being a woman through meeting people. My one-time sex experience recently contacted me again, wanting to meet up. I was tired from work and want to postpone it to this weekend.
So at least something is going on... I shall know what I want from experience. I'm glad I'm getting over my two crush who are rather unavailable and finally marching forward in finding a love that I can call my own. Even if I shall fail in the process, I would be satisfied that I at least tried my best.
The event also helped me make a couple more friends. They are more established in their career and life - I guess those who are willing to pay HK$600 for lunch are self-selected to be from that group. I made a few friends who went to business school at different years and a few professional contacts. I asked them out for lunch.
In addition, the younger guy from the Shanghai university contacted me and we are scheduled for lunch next week. Then an okcupid guy reached out. He also happens to be Indian. I'm not really into that category, since I'd rather stick with what I know, Chinese or American/maybe European. But it's good to practice dating and practice being a woman through meeting people. My one-time sex experience recently contacted me again, wanting to meet up. I was tired from work and want to postpone it to this weekend.
So at least something is going on... I shall know what I want from experience. I'm glad I'm getting over my two crush who are rather unavailable and finally marching forward in finding a love that I can call my own. Even if I shall fail in the process, I would be satisfied that I at least tried my best.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Carpe diem
What I found these days is that my time is limited. Between caring about work, running errands to keep the apartment in shape, working out, meeting friends and also keeping an eye out for the next best work opportunity, there leaves little time for anything else. This makes a bit impatient when I meet some friends and become trapped in a situation without learning anything new. As one friend pointed out, the opportunity cost is getting higher every time.
I met up with a business school friend of mine new in town from Europe, her husband, and another friend Friday night. I was reluctant to have dinner when I didn't feel exactly hungry so ate beforehand, but wanted to meet them anyhow to socialize. I then became quite impatient because I went to drinks afterwards and felt awkward about leaving. All three people I know very well and I didn't feel like our friendship would become stronger by spending more time in LKF checking out new bars. But because there are only three, I felt compelled to stay the entire time. I could have rested at home and did my work, whether researching for investments or relationships. They came to my place afterwards and I had to gather enough courage to ask them to leave past midnight.
Anyway, lesson is that I really need to be more independent and take time into my own hands. Those single friends were quite strategic and never stay that long in activities that seem to drag on. At this time in my life, I think I'm quite sure about who I am and do not need to bum around to find my interest or my goals, to find out who I am. When one is young, he or she is trying to find out his/her place in the world, a track to follow. For me, I think those decisions have been made both consciously and unconsciously, and we all need to just deal with what we have. Which means, carpe diem.
Had lunch with an undergrad friend in the investment field and his wife - both transplants from Canada a decade ago. Unlike me, often confused and undecided about where I should be, the guy is quite certain about his choice to be back in Hong Kong even though he was born and raised in Vancouver and attended the best undergraduate and business school in the States. Like me, he is not entirely interested in technology that dominates the San Francisco bay area. Granted that he is now married and has a young kid, I think I should still learn from his single-mindedness. There is no time in the world to ponder about all the possibilities. We are all working with the limited time and resources on hand. I do appreciate Hong Kong and need to focus.
I did check out the new Swire building in my neighborhood. An ultra luxurious building, the inside was really nice. Average rent ran above 10K USD per month. I thought about sharing the apartment with two to three roommates so we could all enjoy a nice lifestyle, but it is probably not that practical. My taste for good living keeps increasing. There is nothing wrong with that. It keeps life motivated and interesting. Can I still fall in love and be loved with such driven heart for a ever better life?
To end the evening, I went to a Shanghainese university's new year's party. Being by myself and unrelated to anyone, I felt awkward but quickly made many friends. People seem more focused on improving their lives, and I did learn a lot professionally and socially. What I find is that people who are trying to make it tend to be more modest. I liked the crowd, where I did meet a few interesting people. The one guy who graduated a few years before me from the university sat next to me but later revealed that he already has a seven year old kid. Good to know since other than meeting the age criteria and background, I didn't find him physically attractive. Another guy seems very nice and down to earth and is also in finance, but he is three years younger.
The MC of the evening, a guy, began the party by commenting that 70% of the participants are female and he could do nothing about people's complaint how limited the number of guys are here in Hong Kong and even fewer the number of available guys. This makes the situation for someone crashing the party just a bit embarrassing. Good thing is that quite a few girls there were just friends of the alumni and did not attend the school themselves. On the way back, a young IB girl complained some more about the notorious ratio of men vs. women. She said the reason is that in Hong Kong has more girls in general from birth. From the mainland side, the statistics is skewed because the girls tend to do better than guys in school and more qualified for schools in Hong Kong. They also dominate the junior positions in finance as well. I said perhaps they are more easily controlled. In any case, that topic is so talked about and there is no need to dwell on it. We should just look forward. Enjoy the present and plan for the future.
It was an evening well spent. I learned about how to get a driver's license in Hong Kong, the intricacies of enrolling a child in school, and the two golf courses in Shenzhen. I also learned that the university's alumni are working in all professions, such as teacher, journalists, media, in addition to finance. Lots of people are young and also attending school in Hong Kong. Most want to stay for the PR status and hoping not to get fired in the financial crisis coupled with unemployment here in Hong Kong. It's good to connect with them and understand their lives. I find a closer connection there.
I met up with a business school friend of mine new in town from Europe, her husband, and another friend Friday night. I was reluctant to have dinner when I didn't feel exactly hungry so ate beforehand, but wanted to meet them anyhow to socialize. I then became quite impatient because I went to drinks afterwards and felt awkward about leaving. All three people I know very well and I didn't feel like our friendship would become stronger by spending more time in LKF checking out new bars. But because there are only three, I felt compelled to stay the entire time. I could have rested at home and did my work, whether researching for investments or relationships. They came to my place afterwards and I had to gather enough courage to ask them to leave past midnight.
Anyway, lesson is that I really need to be more independent and take time into my own hands. Those single friends were quite strategic and never stay that long in activities that seem to drag on. At this time in my life, I think I'm quite sure about who I am and do not need to bum around to find my interest or my goals, to find out who I am. When one is young, he or she is trying to find out his/her place in the world, a track to follow. For me, I think those decisions have been made both consciously and unconsciously, and we all need to just deal with what we have. Which means, carpe diem.
Had lunch with an undergrad friend in the investment field and his wife - both transplants from Canada a decade ago. Unlike me, often confused and undecided about where I should be, the guy is quite certain about his choice to be back in Hong Kong even though he was born and raised in Vancouver and attended the best undergraduate and business school in the States. Like me, he is not entirely interested in technology that dominates the San Francisco bay area. Granted that he is now married and has a young kid, I think I should still learn from his single-mindedness. There is no time in the world to ponder about all the possibilities. We are all working with the limited time and resources on hand. I do appreciate Hong Kong and need to focus.
I did check out the new Swire building in my neighborhood. An ultra luxurious building, the inside was really nice. Average rent ran above 10K USD per month. I thought about sharing the apartment with two to three roommates so we could all enjoy a nice lifestyle, but it is probably not that practical. My taste for good living keeps increasing. There is nothing wrong with that. It keeps life motivated and interesting. Can I still fall in love and be loved with such driven heart for a ever better life?
To end the evening, I went to a Shanghainese university's new year's party. Being by myself and unrelated to anyone, I felt awkward but quickly made many friends. People seem more focused on improving their lives, and I did learn a lot professionally and socially. What I find is that people who are trying to make it tend to be more modest. I liked the crowd, where I did meet a few interesting people. The one guy who graduated a few years before me from the university sat next to me but later revealed that he already has a seven year old kid. Good to know since other than meeting the age criteria and background, I didn't find him physically attractive. Another guy seems very nice and down to earth and is also in finance, but he is three years younger.
The MC of the evening, a guy, began the party by commenting that 70% of the participants are female and he could do nothing about people's complaint how limited the number of guys are here in Hong Kong and even fewer the number of available guys. This makes the situation for someone crashing the party just a bit embarrassing. Good thing is that quite a few girls there were just friends of the alumni and did not attend the school themselves. On the way back, a young IB girl complained some more about the notorious ratio of men vs. women. She said the reason is that in Hong Kong has more girls in general from birth. From the mainland side, the statistics is skewed because the girls tend to do better than guys in school and more qualified for schools in Hong Kong. They also dominate the junior positions in finance as well. I said perhaps they are more easily controlled. In any case, that topic is so talked about and there is no need to dwell on it. We should just look forward. Enjoy the present and plan for the future.
It was an evening well spent. I learned about how to get a driver's license in Hong Kong, the intricacies of enrolling a child in school, and the two golf courses in Shenzhen. I also learned that the university's alumni are working in all professions, such as teacher, journalists, media, in addition to finance. Lots of people are young and also attending school in Hong Kong. Most want to stay for the PR status and hoping not to get fired in the financial crisis coupled with unemployment here in Hong Kong. It's good to connect with them and understand their lives. I find a closer connection there.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Scored
Finally after a dry spell since May last year, I ventured to sleep with a guy last night under the encouragement of my friend on a different continent. Just get the sex over with. I never did it with a stranger. This guy I got was off of the internet, an Indian who worked a number of years in New York before coming to Hong Kong. I've never been with an Indian before, so now I've checked off the list of different nationalities and races, except for Chinese, my own race, which I would really like to have more experience with.
He came by and I could see he was quite a gym bluff, muscular and quite good looking. We talked about 10 minutes before I suggested that we just dive right into it. It feels nice to have sex (yes, I admit I have higher needs than most others I know). He was kind and we chatted afterwards about work life etc. A decent guy. Smart. And happens to live two buildings away from me. He said that's what most of the city is looking for anyway, and it is hard to find that partner in bars when you can hardly hear most of what the other person is saying and the guys are just waiting for the girls to get drunk. A lot of times that comes unsuccessfully. True. Why not just start with sex and get it over with?
My day seemed more perked up because of a short 30 minutes last night. I think I'd like to do more of it. No strings attached. There are quite a few interesting people that started chatting with me on okcupid. I can take my pick. Get to know what I want. I had lunch with a reporter in my space at the Foreign Correspondents' Club. She's relatively new in Hong Kong, having grown up and worked in the US before. She talked about her past relationships but said that most people she meets in Hong Kong are married or dating someone. She hopes to meet someone organically but it is harder to meet someone that way. I agree. Need to get out of the box. This inventive way to meet may just work.
He came by and I could see he was quite a gym bluff, muscular and quite good looking. We talked about 10 minutes before I suggested that we just dive right into it. It feels nice to have sex (yes, I admit I have higher needs than most others I know). He was kind and we chatted afterwards about work life etc. A decent guy. Smart. And happens to live two buildings away from me. He said that's what most of the city is looking for anyway, and it is hard to find that partner in bars when you can hardly hear most of what the other person is saying and the guys are just waiting for the girls to get drunk. A lot of times that comes unsuccessfully. True. Why not just start with sex and get it over with?
My day seemed more perked up because of a short 30 minutes last night. I think I'd like to do more of it. No strings attached. There are quite a few interesting people that started chatting with me on okcupid. I can take my pick. Get to know what I want. I had lunch with a reporter in my space at the Foreign Correspondents' Club. She's relatively new in Hong Kong, having grown up and worked in the US before. She talked about her past relationships but said that most people she meets in Hong Kong are married or dating someone. She hopes to meet someone organically but it is harder to meet someone that way. I agree. Need to get out of the box. This inventive way to meet may just work.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Stories and advice from a partner
I had a very engaging lunch with a senior partner of a major firm yesterday. I met her years ago through alumni activities when I first arrived in Hong Kong and she's about twenty years older with a few beautiful kids. An white American woman, she married a Chinese guy she met on a vacation in China.
To sum up some really great and wise advice:
- Pray - all her answers were answered, it is just timing that is different. Timing is not something one could control. This worked with her marriage and her kids.
- Take a few classes, accounting or cooking, what not.
- Love happens. Her husband is the love of her life. She thinks most couples around her are in love. This goes against the more cynical view from my other friends who are or were married that only 10% of the married couples are actually happy. Single women just rush into marriage because they think it would make them happier, but lots just become glorified housekeepers.
- People with similar background don't always work. She had opportunity to date a CEO guy with exactly same background, schooling, etc., but she knew he's not the one. Rather, it was love at first sight with her husband.
- Relationships need work. Though her husband and her both have people around them with similar backgrounds, they both don't pursue those relationships. Love needs protection.
- Kids are amazing. In difficult times when relationship is rocky, kids bring couples together.
Along with a nice sunny day, it made me feel good. I also bumped into an older Scottish guy I admired in my old firm on my way back. He was happy to see me after two years and so was I. He gave me advice before like four years prior that I need to attend every party and every wedding to increase my chances. He himself met his wife at a mutual friend's party.
I guess you can meet people everywhere. Sit back and allow things to happen at their own pace. Such is life.
To sum up some really great and wise advice:
- Pray - all her answers were answered, it is just timing that is different. Timing is not something one could control. This worked with her marriage and her kids.
- Take a few classes, accounting or cooking, what not.
- Love happens. Her husband is the love of her life. She thinks most couples around her are in love. This goes against the more cynical view from my other friends who are or were married that only 10% of the married couples are actually happy. Single women just rush into marriage because they think it would make them happier, but lots just become glorified housekeepers.
- People with similar background don't always work. She had opportunity to date a CEO guy with exactly same background, schooling, etc., but she knew he's not the one. Rather, it was love at first sight with her husband.
- Relationships need work. Though her husband and her both have people around them with similar backgrounds, they both don't pursue those relationships. Love needs protection.
- Kids are amazing. In difficult times when relationship is rocky, kids bring couples together.
Along with a nice sunny day, it made me feel good. I also bumped into an older Scottish guy I admired in my old firm on my way back. He was happy to see me after two years and so was I. He gave me advice before like four years prior that I need to attend every party and every wedding to increase my chances. He himself met his wife at a mutual friend's party.
I guess you can meet people everywhere. Sit back and allow things to happen at their own pace. Such is life.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Better to be with opposite or same?
Interestingly enough, I've only shared my blog with under five good friends, probably getting very few views. Writing itself however still comforts me, helping me digest my emotions and thoughts and flushing it for other matters. I have felt quite unproductive for the past two weeks. Not writing a single piece at work makes me feel rather not sure what you would say.. stale, despite my more prolific blog writing.
Met up with two girls in the industry for lunch on Friday. One told me that the Wharton alumni get-together in Shanghai has become not so innocent, with girls not from the school attending events to fish for guys. Ah.. the dating world. I think the best way is probably to meet people through friends. As I walked through town today, I am just so tired looking at the hustle and bustle, the 'hoi polloi's trying to make a living. Not trying your best in a busy city like Hong Kong can make you easily eliminated in the competition. Chinese people, especially regular mainlanders just have to try so much harder to make up for the loss of opportunities from previous generation, the sheer number of people competing for a few prized spots and the pressure from the income disparity. The drive for success is admirable as well as daunting.
Talking with my ex in SF who is now married with a kid (I talk to him about once a week) and my friend in New York who was married about how compatible the couple would be if they have opposite personality traits or similar ones. My New York friend noted that two quiet types can be together, and one passionate and one calm type may be together, but it would be harder for two passionate ones to be together.
Is it better if you are from the same professional background? My ex-associate said both her husband and her work in finance and it is good to be in the same small macro-environment. Another professor friend is marrying another professor the share the same academic environment. I have heard that the more similar you are, the more you can appreciate one another. It also makes it easier for one to hurt the other. As for me, I think I may be the similar type- it would be nice for someone to appreciate who I am.
I am happy to have a supportive group of friends here in Hong Kong. I didn't talk to my work crush at all last week. Somehow I think he cares more about himself than others. Whether it be for work reason or by nature, it is time that I put that to a rest. I was still extremely jealous when he talks or flirts with girls and had to put on a headphone. I wonder how he would introduce his wife once she arrives in Hong Kong. Will I run into her? I need a new distraction.
Met up with two girls in the industry for lunch on Friday. One told me that the Wharton alumni get-together in Shanghai has become not so innocent, with girls not from the school attending events to fish for guys. Ah.. the dating world. I think the best way is probably to meet people through friends. As I walked through town today, I am just so tired looking at the hustle and bustle, the 'hoi polloi's trying to make a living. Not trying your best in a busy city like Hong Kong can make you easily eliminated in the competition. Chinese people, especially regular mainlanders just have to try so much harder to make up for the loss of opportunities from previous generation, the sheer number of people competing for a few prized spots and the pressure from the income disparity. The drive for success is admirable as well as daunting.
Talking with my ex in SF who is now married with a kid (I talk to him about once a week) and my friend in New York who was married about how compatible the couple would be if they have opposite personality traits or similar ones. My New York friend noted that two quiet types can be together, and one passionate and one calm type may be together, but it would be harder for two passionate ones to be together.
Is it better if you are from the same professional background? My ex-associate said both her husband and her work in finance and it is good to be in the same small macro-environment. Another professor friend is marrying another professor the share the same academic environment. I have heard that the more similar you are, the more you can appreciate one another. It also makes it easier for one to hurt the other. As for me, I think I may be the similar type- it would be nice for someone to appreciate who I am.
I am happy to have a supportive group of friends here in Hong Kong. I didn't talk to my work crush at all last week. Somehow I think he cares more about himself than others. Whether it be for work reason or by nature, it is time that I put that to a rest. I was still extremely jealous when he talks or flirts with girls and had to put on a headphone. I wonder how he would introduce his wife once she arrives in Hong Kong. Will I run into her? I need a new distraction.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
A mature ex-associate and a corporate dinner
So the only time I could expand on my network is during lunch and dinner time in the week. Preferably not both those occasions would involve eating as it deters from my goal of losing weight. Yesterday was such a day, but nonetheless it was worthwhile.
I met up with my associate who actually left half a year ago. I wanted to catch up with her for a while but somehow could not find her details for the longest time. When finally we met up yesterday, it coincided with the institutional investor voting period and I was embarrassed that it might be construed as an effort to gather votes rather than a genuine reach-out of a friendly nature. Nonetheless, it was a pleasant lunch. She was good-natured and sweet, and made me feel guilty if I had ever shouted at her or mistreated her as I had accustomed to see others do in the industry. I hope I have not been corrupted. Working in this industry in Hong Kong has made me very money-conscious but I know I should not lose my value for anything, because how would a life be worth living if not for the essence you bring into it.
While I hoped I would follow up on a casual comment she made before leaving that she has a friend who she wants to introduce to me as a potential partner, the direction of the conversation went a different direction. She probably thought I had intention of some kind when reaching out to her. So if not love, it must then be career or votes. She offered to send my CV to her department come Apr/May when it would be expanding in my division. Feeling renewed in the faith of mankind and my connection with my people (sigh), I walked away feeling both guilty for not being a better person to others in the world and lucky for being the recipient of good will.
I think although I try not to get into the friction between Hongkies and the mainlanders, I cannot ignore the contempt Hongkies have for mainlanders, partly out of historical legacy mindset and partly out of self-protection for their own worth in an ever changing political and economic landscape. The mainlanders at the same time are ever more clich-ish, also a legacy from the mono-ethnic environment most grew up with, consolidating the existing difference and tension between the two parties. Singapore's Lee Kuan Yew did it particularly well in requiring differences races to go to the same school and attend the military service. That of course, would be saved for a future time as Taiwan, Hong Kong and mainland slowly melt into one.
As for dinner, I met up with a corporate manager from mainland along with a few managers from my bank's side. I always learn a lot from these talkative young mainland people. I connect in heart and spirit but not complete in knowledge or experience, thereby leaving a hole that I'd like to fill. The talkative ones do the job for me without me risking my pride and authority. The guy seems very outgoing and in the Chinese context, I thought he'd be a good candidate to date, though his English would be poor and his teeth for some reason is very yellow. I thought the later would be an easy point for him to change to win in having a kissable mouth.
To end, I should really be more focused and motivated at work. I have been slacking for two weeks. Need to complete two big reports at least before the Chinese New Year holiday, which I plan to spend in the States.
I met up with my associate who actually left half a year ago. I wanted to catch up with her for a while but somehow could not find her details for the longest time. When finally we met up yesterday, it coincided with the institutional investor voting period and I was embarrassed that it might be construed as an effort to gather votes rather than a genuine reach-out of a friendly nature. Nonetheless, it was a pleasant lunch. She was good-natured and sweet, and made me feel guilty if I had ever shouted at her or mistreated her as I had accustomed to see others do in the industry. I hope I have not been corrupted. Working in this industry in Hong Kong has made me very money-conscious but I know I should not lose my value for anything, because how would a life be worth living if not for the essence you bring into it.
While I hoped I would follow up on a casual comment she made before leaving that she has a friend who she wants to introduce to me as a potential partner, the direction of the conversation went a different direction. She probably thought I had intention of some kind when reaching out to her. So if not love, it must then be career or votes. She offered to send my CV to her department come Apr/May when it would be expanding in my division. Feeling renewed in the faith of mankind and my connection with my people (sigh), I walked away feeling both guilty for not being a better person to others in the world and lucky for being the recipient of good will.
I think although I try not to get into the friction between Hongkies and the mainlanders, I cannot ignore the contempt Hongkies have for mainlanders, partly out of historical legacy mindset and partly out of self-protection for their own worth in an ever changing political and economic landscape. The mainlanders at the same time are ever more clich-ish, also a legacy from the mono-ethnic environment most grew up with, consolidating the existing difference and tension between the two parties. Singapore's Lee Kuan Yew did it particularly well in requiring differences races to go to the same school and attend the military service. That of course, would be saved for a future time as Taiwan, Hong Kong and mainland slowly melt into one.
As for dinner, I met up with a corporate manager from mainland along with a few managers from my bank's side. I always learn a lot from these talkative young mainland people. I connect in heart and spirit but not complete in knowledge or experience, thereby leaving a hole that I'd like to fill. The talkative ones do the job for me without me risking my pride and authority. The guy seems very outgoing and in the Chinese context, I thought he'd be a good candidate to date, though his English would be poor and his teeth for some reason is very yellow. I thought the later would be an easy point for him to change to win in having a kissable mouth.
To end, I should really be more focused and motivated at work. I have been slacking for two weeks. Need to complete two big reports at least before the Chinese New Year holiday, which I plan to spend in the States.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Can we skip the emotional connection stage?
Had lunch with two ex-colleagues today. The guy is from Shanghai and is rather stable with his career as a research analyst. We were recruited at the same time. He's married and offered his perspective on love and dating. He commented that my threshold for chemistry and love may be too high. Dating and marriage are two completely different things. Some people wait around for love and connection but they never find it and then miss the everyday marriage part. This is in response to my reluctance to choose an ex-coworker who seemed to be very stable as marriage material but I wanted more - a connection, chemistry, love...
Can I really just skip the connection, passion part and jump straight to the practical side of a union?
Tonight, I was calm enough to chat with my affair partner (since after I told him that I hated him, I was spineless enough to ask him to vote for me in the Institutional Investor voting). He is going through a divorce but did not want to commit because he has already made a mistake of seventeen years acting on passion alone. He said he thinks he would drive me crazy if he is to live with me. He also told me that I can be abrasive. Everyone has emotion but I seem to not filter mine. That is indeed true. I am working on that as I said before. I need to meditate. He told me to relax and not think that the world is against me, the exact words that the head of research had told me. I guess I can be naturally defensive. Either I have lots of money or power to not care, or I should restrain and discipline my emotion. That is for certain. My love said every great person has good and bad parts, and he likes all of me. So to that I said thanks. It doesn't matter does it? I still need to walk away from my love and tame my heart for something more.
I tried going to badminton organized by my bank. When I arrived there, I found no one. Later the administrator told me that those who had signed up late cancelled. I made no professional or personal progress on that front. I went back to the office and sat there doodling around when my office crushed walked in after dinner with another female coworker. The junior guy who saw me snooping around also sat there. I was there for a few minutes silent, not knowing what to say, knowing that the junior guy did not tell him anything but is probably observing my reaction. I could not see him interacting with other girls without feeling jealous and not knowing if I could entirely hide my feeling, I always tried to be quiet and walk away. That isn't the most smooth way to handle it but I have to deal with what I've got.
To increase my pool of potential candidates, I signed up for the alumni activity list of two mainland universities, posing as their graduate. I told my ex-colleague in my core I am actually very mainland. He said how could that be if my values are American, and the core of someone is really his/her value. I don't know. I guess I'm just confused. How can one express one's true core to someone? He said I need to recognize that if I am to get together with a Chinese person, there is that hurdle of different value systems. He suggested that I move to the US, where my odds would be greatly increased. His sister did so and found someone in New York in the first month. Are those anecdotal stories really worth the effort of uprooting one's self from a comfortable spot one's built up to somewhere else and start over? Would I risk giving up on a career that I paid forward for many years prior to start again? Those are questions to be beckoned with this year. On a side note, another head hunter called and I met him about opportunities in a different bank. I turned t down and told him that I am concentrating on a reputable buyside firm. I need to update my resume to proceed to the next stage. Somehow 2013 feels like a new start for me with my renewed focus on those three objectives. To re-iterate, it would be to find love, to explore a good buyside firm, and to exercise emotional control. In addition, I will lose 10 pounds. So far my diet log has been working.
Can I really just skip the connection, passion part and jump straight to the practical side of a union?
Tonight, I was calm enough to chat with my affair partner (since after I told him that I hated him, I was spineless enough to ask him to vote for me in the Institutional Investor voting). He is going through a divorce but did not want to commit because he has already made a mistake of seventeen years acting on passion alone. He said he thinks he would drive me crazy if he is to live with me. He also told me that I can be abrasive. Everyone has emotion but I seem to not filter mine. That is indeed true. I am working on that as I said before. I need to meditate. He told me to relax and not think that the world is against me, the exact words that the head of research had told me. I guess I can be naturally defensive. Either I have lots of money or power to not care, or I should restrain and discipline my emotion. That is for certain. My love said every great person has good and bad parts, and he likes all of me. So to that I said thanks. It doesn't matter does it? I still need to walk away from my love and tame my heart for something more.
I tried going to badminton organized by my bank. When I arrived there, I found no one. Later the administrator told me that those who had signed up late cancelled. I made no professional or personal progress on that front. I went back to the office and sat there doodling around when my office crushed walked in after dinner with another female coworker. The junior guy who saw me snooping around also sat there. I was there for a few minutes silent, not knowing what to say, knowing that the junior guy did not tell him anything but is probably observing my reaction. I could not see him interacting with other girls without feeling jealous and not knowing if I could entirely hide my feeling, I always tried to be quiet and walk away. That isn't the most smooth way to handle it but I have to deal with what I've got.
To increase my pool of potential candidates, I signed up for the alumni activity list of two mainland universities, posing as their graduate. I told my ex-colleague in my core I am actually very mainland. He said how could that be if my values are American, and the core of someone is really his/her value. I don't know. I guess I'm just confused. How can one express one's true core to someone? He said I need to recognize that if I am to get together with a Chinese person, there is that hurdle of different value systems. He suggested that I move to the US, where my odds would be greatly increased. His sister did so and found someone in New York in the first month. Are those anecdotal stories really worth the effort of uprooting one's self from a comfortable spot one's built up to somewhere else and start over? Would I risk giving up on a career that I paid forward for many years prior to start again? Those are questions to be beckoned with this year. On a side note, another head hunter called and I met him about opportunities in a different bank. I turned t down and told him that I am concentrating on a reputable buyside firm. I need to update my resume to proceed to the next stage. Somehow 2013 feels like a new start for me with my renewed focus on those three objectives. To re-iterate, it would be to find love, to explore a good buyside firm, and to exercise emotional control. In addition, I will lose 10 pounds. So far my diet log has been working.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Lunch with an MBA grad and coffee with an MBA wanna-be
Yesterday I met with another Chinese American in equity research, whom I asked for an introduction from a college friend of mine. In the same age bracket and in the same profession, I thought this would make our connection stronger, for either professional or personal reason in the future. As I have a knack for journalism since an early age, I thought his background as a journalist in China would actually be an attraction.
Meeting him though turned out to be a rather uninspiring event. A recent graduate of a US MBA school, he was quite defensive about everything. You see, I've been trying to be less defensive and bite my tongue this year, so I am at least glad to say that my first practice with a defensive guy has been rather effective. He introduced everything about himself with an air of arrogance, such as the fact that his parents moved to the US for graduate school (Yes, not one of those new immigrants, maybe that makes him a real true American prince). He questioned me in a less friendly way as well, such as why I am not marketing right now, why I would be working for the place that I do etc. The conversation just did not flow. He's so inexperienced in his field, with just perhaps three months as an associate. Normally people at that level would be speaking to me nicely, as their future is so uncertain and the road ahead long in their professional career. He became more quiet when I told him that I have an associate working for me. I think I need to be more patient and be a bigger person when I can.
The lunch turned out to be close to 600 HKD, much more than I felt comfortable paying for, especially with someone that I find less than engaging. Afterwards, I had an upset stomach for the rest of the day. The greasy food got to me. I have also been taking a diet pill I got back in Manila ages ago, and it must have had a bad reaction with it. I went to the gym later on and felt like fainting. I took a taxi home and slept for the rest of the night.
This made me wonder - does US really churn out a lot of people who are rather insecure but want to cloak themselves in whatever degree they got - Yes, I have an MBA from so and so.. and I should talk down to you in a officious way? I too have a top MBA, but I never thought about using it as a shield for who I truly am. Maybe there is just an insecurity issue with guys. He got started late with his career and he wanted to compete with me and win the first time we meet? All I wanted was a friendly exchange, and perhaps he naturally saw it as a duel? Perhaps I can't blame him. He is probably still in the mode of competition, where he has to beat out all the other MBA students for the few coveted jobs in finance. Survival comes first, then kindness for others and the world.
In the afternoon, a sales trader in the company asked me for coffee, to chat. He's a young and good looking guy. He was quite kind and humble, quite a nice change from the lunch time conversations I had. He is bored with his job and wanted to learn more about fundamental analysis, perhaps go into research in the future. I suggested MBA and he said he has also been looking into it. Will that future MBA churn out another arrogant and insecure soul when he comes out?
Granted there has been many interesting people I met during MBA and the network gave me the perspective from many others in the world I was not exposed to before, there definitely is more than a handful who have been transformed for the more arrogant, a changed identity that required more a more defensive nature. To make it in the world is a hard thing. I hope I will be one of the lucky ones that wouldn't have to resort to that to prove my worth in the world.
Meeting him though turned out to be a rather uninspiring event. A recent graduate of a US MBA school, he was quite defensive about everything. You see, I've been trying to be less defensive and bite my tongue this year, so I am at least glad to say that my first practice with a defensive guy has been rather effective. He introduced everything about himself with an air of arrogance, such as the fact that his parents moved to the US for graduate school (Yes, not one of those new immigrants, maybe that makes him a real true American prince). He questioned me in a less friendly way as well, such as why I am not marketing right now, why I would be working for the place that I do etc. The conversation just did not flow. He's so inexperienced in his field, with just perhaps three months as an associate. Normally people at that level would be speaking to me nicely, as their future is so uncertain and the road ahead long in their professional career. He became more quiet when I told him that I have an associate working for me. I think I need to be more patient and be a bigger person when I can.
The lunch turned out to be close to 600 HKD, much more than I felt comfortable paying for, especially with someone that I find less than engaging. Afterwards, I had an upset stomach for the rest of the day. The greasy food got to me. I have also been taking a diet pill I got back in Manila ages ago, and it must have had a bad reaction with it. I went to the gym later on and felt like fainting. I took a taxi home and slept for the rest of the night.
This made me wonder - does US really churn out a lot of people who are rather insecure but want to cloak themselves in whatever degree they got - Yes, I have an MBA from so and so.. and I should talk down to you in a officious way? I too have a top MBA, but I never thought about using it as a shield for who I truly am. Maybe there is just an insecurity issue with guys. He got started late with his career and he wanted to compete with me and win the first time we meet? All I wanted was a friendly exchange, and perhaps he naturally saw it as a duel? Perhaps I can't blame him. He is probably still in the mode of competition, where he has to beat out all the other MBA students for the few coveted jobs in finance. Survival comes first, then kindness for others and the world.
In the afternoon, a sales trader in the company asked me for coffee, to chat. He's a young and good looking guy. He was quite kind and humble, quite a nice change from the lunch time conversations I had. He is bored with his job and wanted to learn more about fundamental analysis, perhaps go into research in the future. I suggested MBA and he said he has also been looking into it. Will that future MBA churn out another arrogant and insecure soul when he comes out?
Granted there has been many interesting people I met during MBA and the network gave me the perspective from many others in the world I was not exposed to before, there definitely is more than a handful who have been transformed for the more arrogant, a changed identity that required more a more defensive nature. To make it in the world is a hard thing. I hope I will be one of the lucky ones that wouldn't have to resort to that to prove my worth in the world.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Not great to say so much
First, I have to say that I was caught red-handed by a junior guy going through my coworker crush's stuff this afternoon. I already know everything about his wife etc, but I somehow cannot help but look into his stuff in the office to remind myself of his not talked about private life. I know it's wrong, but seriously I could be misled on the wrong path if I never found out about the situation between him and his wife. I again had to recheck his details today at work when no one was around, but in walked a junior guy. I was so embarrassed. He immediately said, "Don't worry, I'm not him." Gosh, will he tell him? It doesn't matter. Those are the facts, and I would just have to confront it if asked. I just found it hard to find an excuse in fact to cover up the act. So someone in the office knows. I should stop with that infatuation route immediately. It is not ethical and I already have enough details about it to stop right now. Gosh, how awkward will it be come Monday morning in a few hours. Let's just bury that episode away. I trust he has enough understanding not to share the information.
I went to a karaoke get-together organized by my entrepreneur friend A this afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to his friend, an Asian/Chinese South African dentist for a while. The guy is very solid, a bit on the quiet side. His parents were also born in South Africa, so despite his looks, he does not speak or understand Chinese at all. How do you know if really could go for someone, start a relationship/perhaps marriage? You don't have the butterfly in your stomach, so perhaps you shouldn't even look for that when you are older? Just build and establish? But then on what basis would you make that choice? Just because they are the same race, or just because you think they have the opposite personality traits so you could complement each other? I have agreed to a hike the South African Chinese guy is organizing, so to understand him more. That's worthwhile, and it is not a total chore to be with.
At gym today, I bumped into an old friend, a 44-year-old Indian / American guy. He wants to find someone to marry before he's 46, and proposed that I date/marry him if I don't find anyone after 35. He kept recommending himself as a patient person who can manage me, which he thinks the person for me. I said I'm not interested and do not want to deal with the Indian culture. He's an interesting person to talk to, quite cynical but realistic at that stage. He said I wouldn't meet any good guys at the gym as most of them have their minds set on making more money and advancing their career entirely and I would probably get in the way.
I also had Italian for dinner with an ex-coworker. Whereas there was always a distance while working there, I find ex-coworkers are great to talk to once you are ex. We had the same experience and sufferings and joy while going through a stage of our lives together. The bond only becomes stronger afterwards. She's also going to keep her eyes out for potential candidate while I keep mine open for potential job opportunities for her.
I went to a karaoke get-together organized by my entrepreneur friend A this afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to his friend, an Asian/Chinese South African dentist for a while. The guy is very solid, a bit on the quiet side. His parents were also born in South Africa, so despite his looks, he does not speak or understand Chinese at all. How do you know if really could go for someone, start a relationship/perhaps marriage? You don't have the butterfly in your stomach, so perhaps you shouldn't even look for that when you are older? Just build and establish? But then on what basis would you make that choice? Just because they are the same race, or just because you think they have the opposite personality traits so you could complement each other? I have agreed to a hike the South African Chinese guy is organizing, so to understand him more. That's worthwhile, and it is not a total chore to be with.
At gym today, I bumped into an old friend, a 44-year-old Indian / American guy. He wants to find someone to marry before he's 46, and proposed that I date/marry him if I don't find anyone after 35. He kept recommending himself as a patient person who can manage me, which he thinks the person for me. I said I'm not interested and do not want to deal with the Indian culture. He's an interesting person to talk to, quite cynical but realistic at that stage. He said I wouldn't meet any good guys at the gym as most of them have their minds set on making more money and advancing their career entirely and I would probably get in the way.
I also had Italian for dinner with an ex-coworker. Whereas there was always a distance while working there, I find ex-coworkers are great to talk to once you are ex. We had the same experience and sufferings and joy while going through a stage of our lives together. The bond only becomes stronger afterwards. She's also going to keep her eyes out for potential candidate while I keep mine open for potential job opportunities for her.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Can't shake that feeling off - a third resolution of the year
I feel bad. I need more mental discipline for sure. Last night at dinner I asked for the feedback from an awkward young lawyer who puts together dinners in Hong Kong to introduce people. He said he judges people that he invites to the dinner by six criteria, among which are qualifications that they are wealthy, connected, intelligent, interesting, good looking and compassionate. He said he could give everyone his impression (I don't really know him) after dinner if one should be interested. Being the inquisitive person that I am, I was the only one to ask him for his opinions.
He said that he thinks I am not wealthy (but later qualified that he defines wealthy as being able to inherit at least US$4m), that I am not connected (but later qualified that he would change his mind if he knew I have been in Hong Kong for 8 years already, but I must not have been connected when I first got here), that I am mildly attractive (I protested, but he said that's given that he knows many private bankers), that I am quick to judgment and the way I say things is so certain (people like to talk to people whose minds they can change etc.) I guess I was pretty pissed off hearing about it.
Maybe it isn't the best thing to receive feedback, like all my friends were saying in business school, there are two sides to a coin, and people will always feed you the side that you are not. If you are quiet, they say you are anti social. If you are loud, they say you are overwhelming etc. I need to take it with a grain of salt, but then perhaps I should not take it too seriously, but also be mindful of what I say or do in public in the future. Hong Kong is not a place to put down your guard after all. In the case that you do not know what everyone's intention is, you should remain mum and be careful. It's a pity. Another Shanghainese guy at the dinner said that's the reason why in Chinese firms people don't talk to each other. They do not want to reveal anything that could be used against them. What a pity - because it is lonely without all that socializing at work.
Another thing is that I miss my coworker. I need to get over it, but every once in a while I become infatuated with someone. That period could then be known as the period of Blah blah blah. So this is the period of the cool coworker. It is not really productive use of my time and energy. I will try to reign it in. Somehow in my mind he's become everything I ever wanted. It's definitely idealization. But I don't have connections that often, yet how can I control the fact that sometimes it is with someone who is not available? The connection is just as strong - leaving it hard for me to put out the fire by myself, alone. He's the first and only Chinese guy that I feel close to, probably because he is well versed in western and eastern cultures. Anyway, life is such that sometimes you should walk away, even though you may think this could lead to a beautiful life together.
All this comes down to emotional disciplines, which I lack. I tend to indulge in my feelings at the moment, and find it hard to shake it off. I also tend to find it hard to regulate my thoughts, which tend to spill out without adequate filter. I used to not be like this when I was younger. I think partly it is because for a while I had condoned this behavior without check. Maybe my life had been too comfortable? I also took on some of my business school crush T's rich public school attitude. He poked at me with very pointy statements back then had trained me to behave like this to others sometimes. I need to remind myself that it did not make me or the others feel warm back then.
Maybe I just need to get laid? My fixation has to come partly from the fact that I am not satisfied sexually. Sitting there across from the guy you like at work is a test on my hormones - yes, that is completely inappropriate. But just as proximity determines most of the marriage unions, you can't help but be physically attracted to him. But again, mental discipline.
Meditation probably helps in all this. I want to become a better person that heed to others' needs.
Saturday is passing quickly. New year's resolution:
1. Devote more time and effort to find love and hopefully a lasting one.
2. Consider moving to buyside research/portfolio management. Managing money seems like it would be more fun.
3. Emotional discipline. Think before I speak. Heed my words.
Thus, we start 2013 new year, still time to have a clean slate before Chinese New Year.
He said that he thinks I am not wealthy (but later qualified that he defines wealthy as being able to inherit at least US$4m), that I am not connected (but later qualified that he would change his mind if he knew I have been in Hong Kong for 8 years already, but I must not have been connected when I first got here), that I am mildly attractive (I protested, but he said that's given that he knows many private bankers), that I am quick to judgment and the way I say things is so certain (people like to talk to people whose minds they can change etc.) I guess I was pretty pissed off hearing about it.
Maybe it isn't the best thing to receive feedback, like all my friends were saying in business school, there are two sides to a coin, and people will always feed you the side that you are not. If you are quiet, they say you are anti social. If you are loud, they say you are overwhelming etc. I need to take it with a grain of salt, but then perhaps I should not take it too seriously, but also be mindful of what I say or do in public in the future. Hong Kong is not a place to put down your guard after all. In the case that you do not know what everyone's intention is, you should remain mum and be careful. It's a pity. Another Shanghainese guy at the dinner said that's the reason why in Chinese firms people don't talk to each other. They do not want to reveal anything that could be used against them. What a pity - because it is lonely without all that socializing at work.
Another thing is that I miss my coworker. I need to get over it, but every once in a while I become infatuated with someone. That period could then be known as the period of Blah blah blah. So this is the period of the cool coworker. It is not really productive use of my time and energy. I will try to reign it in. Somehow in my mind he's become everything I ever wanted. It's definitely idealization. But I don't have connections that often, yet how can I control the fact that sometimes it is with someone who is not available? The connection is just as strong - leaving it hard for me to put out the fire by myself, alone. He's the first and only Chinese guy that I feel close to, probably because he is well versed in western and eastern cultures. Anyway, life is such that sometimes you should walk away, even though you may think this could lead to a beautiful life together.
All this comes down to emotional disciplines, which I lack. I tend to indulge in my feelings at the moment, and find it hard to shake it off. I also tend to find it hard to regulate my thoughts, which tend to spill out without adequate filter. I used to not be like this when I was younger. I think partly it is because for a while I had condoned this behavior without check. Maybe my life had been too comfortable? I also took on some of my business school crush T's rich public school attitude. He poked at me with very pointy statements back then had trained me to behave like this to others sometimes. I need to remind myself that it did not make me or the others feel warm back then.
Maybe I just need to get laid? My fixation has to come partly from the fact that I am not satisfied sexually. Sitting there across from the guy you like at work is a test on my hormones - yes, that is completely inappropriate. But just as proximity determines most of the marriage unions, you can't help but be physically attracted to him. But again, mental discipline.
Meditation probably helps in all this. I want to become a better person that heed to others' needs.
Saturday is passing quickly. New year's resolution:
1. Devote more time and effort to find love and hopefully a lasting one.
2. Consider moving to buyside research/portfolio management. Managing money seems like it would be more fun.
3. Emotional discipline. Think before I speak. Heed my words.
Thus, we start 2013 new year, still time to have a clean slate before Chinese New Year.
Friday, January 11, 2013
At this point simultaneously.. why didn't they teach us..
Last night I met up with V, my handsome French business school classmate visiting on a business trip. My original intention shared with an engaged girlfriend is to sleep with him. If nothing comes of it, at least I would have slept with a hot guy. He and I have been very good friends for over five years, so I thought this seemed like a good idea when I enacted it in my mind the day before.
Two things came up when he and I went for a few drinks after he got here though. One is that he has been dating a Malaysian girl for five years, something he talked little about. He said he is in the process of deciding to end that relationship, as they do not have the same interests and his consulting job has been taking a toll on his personal life. The other thing was that he was on his way out of Hong Kong on a 1am flight, leaving little room for foreplay, flirtations, and possible sleeping over.
Instead, we went to a business school gathering, and met quite a few people. I met a few possible business associates, and a few people that I could count in my 100 dates, though I have no feeling or connection with them from the onset. The concern with a white guy here is that the market is becoming increasingly Chinese, and a white expat's opportunities are dwindling here in Asia. Perhaps a more established and seasoned one would have been better. Anyway, there are always things to deal with.
Although we did not get to sleep together, V and I got closer talking about this stage of our life. He is 3 years older than me and somehow he started going off on how he now thought about settling down after seeing his sister just give birth and how much it brought joy to this over-worked corporate lawyer haggled with the stress of work before. Her face just lit up, he said. V, the free agent, the one who never wanted to get married, told me that he is for sure going to get married and have kids.
He also shared how we follow society and family's advice to work hard in school and then look for a good professional career, all that time when we were stressing over those goals, we could have looked for that significant other and built on our personal lives. No one taught us / told us to. Yes, especially as a woman.
I actually met quite a few people at the event. My heart mostly is set on two married guys though. One I just broke up with who I had a long distance for eight years (can I say that our connection is awesome?) but because of kids and distance, it was best that we separate. The other is my neighbor at work, a guy who is very eloquent in both Chinese and English, who I share a lot of the same interest, background, and connection. I think he is a nice distraction, but a distraction nonetheless. I waited around for him to come back from meetings so I could ask him to go to lunch. He brought back lunch though. I had a nice chat with him. I like him a lot. Anyway, he never talks about his wife but I know she will be joining him soon. It seems almost like a soap opera. On toward my pursuit. It should be fun. I am looking forward to a life with another guy, building a family, etc. Will this be the year?
Monday, January 7, 2013
First day back at work
First day back at work is normally quite unproductive as always. I did pay my exorbitant Hong Kong taxes though. On my way back from Ho Chi Minh City, my MBA friend told me that her ex-boss is in fact settled in Czech right now. Long distance and cross cultural, maybe not as hopeful as I originally hoped it would be. Read this article "Why Women Can't Have It All," a popular article written by a successful woman in The Atlantic a couple of months ago at work today. Maybe I should be more realistic? Or optimistic?
How can I get used to being with a guy? I guess maybe after sleeping with someone that is when the connection actually starts. What a long dry spell.
I do want to dress up and be more womanly though. I think with all that ambitious track I've forgotten that I'm a woman sometimes. At the end of the day, we are all just biologically more adaptable doing certain things. Here in Hong Kong, as in New York and other cosmopolitan city, looks and style is more important. I should enjoy spending more money to look good. Vogue and Tatler are currently the inspirations. See it as an investment and a lifelong cultivation of my feminine side. If no one enjoys it, I shall myself. Oh in the meantime I need to lose 10 pounds. Let's do it.
How can I get used to being with a guy? I guess maybe after sleeping with someone that is when the connection actually starts. What a long dry spell.
I do want to dress up and be more womanly though. I think with all that ambitious track I've forgotten that I'm a woman sometimes. At the end of the day, we are all just biologically more adaptable doing certain things. Here in Hong Kong, as in New York and other cosmopolitan city, looks and style is more important. I should enjoy spending more money to look good. Vogue and Tatler are currently the inspirations. See it as an investment and a lifelong cultivation of my feminine side. If no one enjoys it, I shall myself. Oh in the meantime I need to lose 10 pounds. Let's do it.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Back home in Hong Kong
After 10 days away in Vietnam, I am back. It has been a good trip. People are much warmer than I expected in general and it is amazing how different the country is in its different regions - from the super warm south to the super cool north. I heard that people in Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi don't usually get married because of their distinct cultural differences. That's new lessons indeed! From not knowing where the capital lied to now being able to understand a bit more about the Vietnam war, it was fruitful I think.
The only disappoint part is that I expected all this walking around and eating pho every day would help me lose a pound or two. I was quite shocked to find that I may in fact have gained a kilo! What happened there? I did have two fantas and a kit kat in the trip, but the rest of the time I really behaved! I really need to get a better start to this year. I weigh 20 kilos more than when I started business school, partly from slowing metabolism and partly from having a mostly sedentary working life. I really need to do something about this. Diet is probably a more effective way to tackle this, since my expensive personal training session cannot do much if I do not significantly reduce and alter my diet. I need to log everyday's intake, a friend with experience told me. Sure. It will be done.
So far I have not even crossed off one out of that one hundred goal. I am considering changing the name of this post. I originally had hope of at least meeting my friend's ex-boss, who's a good looking professional Czech. The country's communist background should be a connector? I later went back to HCMC and she told me that he's returned to Czech after doing two and half years in Vietnam and is likely staying? Well, that just reduced the probability of that happening by 90% at least I think.
Sunday and a bit cold here in Hong Kong. Errands to run. At least there is a bit of sunshine. The gray sky in Hanoi got a bit tiring after a couple of days. This is not an easy city to find love but then again, I have grown accustomed to its energy and efficiency. Its capitalism could be inspiring. Things can happen here. Albeit it is hard to make it anywhere, lots of people around you do make it and life can progress and improve. There will be time to sit back, but not always.
The only disappoint part is that I expected all this walking around and eating pho every day would help me lose a pound or two. I was quite shocked to find that I may in fact have gained a kilo! What happened there? I did have two fantas and a kit kat in the trip, but the rest of the time I really behaved! I really need to get a better start to this year. I weigh 20 kilos more than when I started business school, partly from slowing metabolism and partly from having a mostly sedentary working life. I really need to do something about this. Diet is probably a more effective way to tackle this, since my expensive personal training session cannot do much if I do not significantly reduce and alter my diet. I need to log everyday's intake, a friend with experience told me. Sure. It will be done.
So far I have not even crossed off one out of that one hundred goal. I am considering changing the name of this post. I originally had hope of at least meeting my friend's ex-boss, who's a good looking professional Czech. The country's communist background should be a connector? I later went back to HCMC and she told me that he's returned to Czech after doing two and half years in Vietnam and is likely staying? Well, that just reduced the probability of that happening by 90% at least I think.
Sunday and a bit cold here in Hong Kong. Errands to run. At least there is a bit of sunshine. The gray sky in Hanoi got a bit tiring after a couple of days. This is not an easy city to find love but then again, I have grown accustomed to its energy and efficiency. Its capitalism could be inspiring. Things can happen here. Albeit it is hard to make it anywhere, lots of people around you do make it and life can progress and improve. There will be time to sit back, but not always.